Today was the first day since the surgery when I actually took care in how\u00a0I looked. I had an event I wanted to attend at my daughter’s school so I broke out the make up, put my jewelry back on (I’d removed it all for the surgery and never put any of it back on),\u00a0put a bra on (with assistance)\u00a0and covered my hairy legs in nice pants. In the end, it was quite empowering – feeling like my old self (amazing what make up can do!).<\/p>\n
But – this accomplishment was not reached without another kick in the gut from cancer. As I was putting on my eye liner I realized that all of my eye lashes had gone. Yup. Last time I’d put make up on\u00a0(the day before the surgery) I know they were there and today – well, today they were not. Luckily I’m not into mascara – I’m all about the charcoal gray eye liner with my favorite Mary Kay eye shadow and with those in play, I still felt good.\u00a0 Also – my eye brows are still around. I’m hoping they don’t go missing…. I honestly think that would be worse and much more noticeable….\u00a0 I’m prepared if they do (already picked up a nice, brown eye brow pencil if (heaven forbid) I have to draw them back on). For now, I feel confident that they are staying around. Just in case, I’m keeping my fingers crossed.<\/p>\n
The second thing that was different in getting ready was figuring out how to be comfortable in public concerning my breasts. Currently, my chest doesn’t sag – they are two mounds with happy little nipples pointing about. I put on a t-shirt and, well, the nipples were noticeable easily to me. Since I didn’t feel that was acceptable to me – and due to the summer temperatures outside – adding a second shirt or coat wasn’t going to do, I figured I’d give a bra a try. With my husbands assistance to close it, I then checked to see how I looked in the t-shirt. A slight improvement but with a new problem – the bra size was all off. The straps were adjusted accordingly to accommodate my much smaller cup size and that helped but still – I could see the rough up and down bumps from a too-big bra. Thinking for a second I realized the answer was obvious – what does any female do when they cannot fill out a bra? They stuff it. Feeling like I was more in high school trying to catch up with my girl friends because I was a late bloomer, I grabbed a bunch of tissues and stuffed the cups and voila! A nice smooth surface finally was realized with the t-shirt. Success!\u00a0 It’s all about overcoming obstacles. This one was more of a silly one but I was not to be outdone and felt good that I succeeded – though it did feel like smoke and mirrors! Cancer be damned!<\/p>\n
Although my eye lashes and “filled bra cups” are currently gone, they are not forgotten and I know that they will be back. Have I mentioned that this is a long, slow battle that requires unending patience and optimism and perseverance to win??? Screw you, Cancer. One thing you’ve taught me is patience and I know these will all come back.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Today was the first day since the surgery when I actually took care in how\u00a0I looked. I had an event I wanted to attend at my daughter’s school so I broke out the make up, put my jewelry back on … Continue reading