{"id":123,"date":"2015-05-14T05:59:25","date_gmt":"2015-05-14T12:59:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.notwhatihadplanned.com\/?p=123"},"modified":"2015-05-14T05:59:25","modified_gmt":"2015-05-14T12:59:25","slug":"afraid","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.notwhatihadplanned.com\/?p=123","title":{"rendered":"Afraid"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m afraid that I’ll make the “wrong” decision.<\/p>\n

I’m afraid that there isn’t any “right” decision.<\/p>\n

I’m afraid that I’ll have another battle with cancer and next time it won’t be an “annoyance” it’ll be a talk about life and death.<\/p>\n

I’m afraid that I won’t be around to see my daughter grow up, get married, have kids.<\/p>\n

I’m afraid that if I go for a double mastectomy and reconstruction that I’m going to hate how I will feel physically during all of the recovery and surgery and NOT be able to get myself back on the bandwagon of exercise and staying fit.<\/p>\n

I’m afraid if I go for a lumpectomy and that next time will be right around the corner.<\/p>\n

I’m afraid that even if I go lumpectomy because I don’t want to lose my breasts that my sex life will never be the same again.<\/p>\n

I’m afraid that I’ll never feel strong, physically again, and I won’t have the strength or willpower to take care of myself the way I now need to.<\/p>\n

I’m afraid that I’ll never have long hair again – like I had before.<\/p>\n

I’m afraid that I’m the only one that can make this decision for me.<\/p>\n

I’m afraid that I’ve lost my sense of optimism and cheery outlook.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m afraid that I’ll make the “wrong” decision. I’m afraid that there isn’t any “right” decision. I’m afraid that I’ll have another battle with cancer and next time it won’t be an “annoyance” it’ll be a talk about life and … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-123","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.notwhatihadplanned.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/123","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.notwhatihadplanned.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.notwhatihadplanned.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.notwhatihadplanned.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.notwhatihadplanned.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=123"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.notwhatihadplanned.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/123\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":124,"href":"http:\/\/www.notwhatihadplanned.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/123\/revisions\/124"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.notwhatihadplanned.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=123"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.notwhatihadplanned.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=123"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.notwhatihadplanned.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=123"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}